I had a one hour chat with a life coach the other day. I guess you’d call her a life coach. She works predominantly with woman who feel a little lost in motherhood. A lot of her work focuses around weight loss, which is a shame really because there’s so much more to coming back to the woman you are than getting back to an ideal weight – but I don’t have that issue, so who am I to say.
Anyways, I got in contact with her because I wanted to feel inspired. I wanted someone something to spark a little motivation in me to be more than just a mom right now.
I can’t say I got very much out of the call. She was new at the whole coaching thing and it kind of felt prescribed. She asked a lot of hokey questions and even though we had a good chat, I didn’t leave the call feeling any different.
It was a start though. I was nervous going into it and it’s good to do things that make me nervous.
One of the things I feel like I’m missing in my life right now, and I talked to her about this, is that I don’t really have any clear life goals. I don’t have a vision of the life I want. I don’t know what I want. And this isn’t like me. I’m used to working towards something. I like the feeling of visualizing something, working towards it, and then achieving it. And I’m good at that….once I know what it is that I want.
I’m funny that way though. When I did yoga teacher training (I went to Costa Rica for three weeks a lifetime ago) we were to pick a word that we wanted to feel or exude. Mind was ‘present’. I felt at that time I was always looking to the next thing and I wasn’t taking the time to truly be present and grateful.
I am now more present than ever and here I am wanting to have or thinking I need something to strive for.
Perhaps this is a good thing. My pendulum has swung and I feel in time I will come to a happy balance.
And like I wrote in my Acceptance and Surrender post, perhaps now is not the time to manifest dreams. If I accept that and continue to just be present with my kids while on maternity leave, if I surrender to the guilt or whatever it is that’s nagging me to achieve, I can then relax and maybe my vision will just come. And that’s when it will be most powerful, I truly believe that. I don’t want to work towards something just for the sake of it. I want it to be completely what my heart and soul desire.
So I’m going to just sit back, relax, and listen. Maybe I don’t really need to do much more than that right now.
And now, onto the sleep log….
SLEEP LOG DAY 4
5:40 she woke up, I tried to get her back to sleep but she was wide awake, chatting in my arms so at 6 am we officially started our day
9:30 went down for her nap with no crying (I laid her down asleep)
It’s 10:15 now so we’ll see what the rest of the day brings. Hoping for an afternoon nap, even though it didn’t really help her night sleep all that much last night. She didn’t sleep through, though she didn’t wake for hours last night so that’s something.
I just realized, I do actually have a vision I’m working towards – getting my baby girl to sleep through the night. Maybe not so big picture, but it would be life changing for me at the moment, so yeah, kind of a big deal.
To be continued…