I’m listening to the audio book ‘Raising your Spirited Child’ right now and so much is resonating with me.
My soon to be 3 year old is very much a spirited child and I’m seeking ways to be a better parent to him. I don’t like feeling like I’m constantly battling him. Like I’m always losing my temper and I most definitely don’t like feeling like I don’t like him or this ‘phase’. Because I love him so much and there are so many amazing things about this phase, but it’s also extremely challenging for me.
So I’m looking to better understand him, help him, and in turn help myself.
I’m only on chapter three but I really like what the book is saying so far. I just listened to the importance of labels, and unfortunately, I have not been using very positive labels to describe my child. I call him:
The author talks about how children develop their sense of self and when negative character traits are thrown at them, well, it doesn’t exactly help them to feel good about themselves.
She encourages participants in her groups to say, out loud, “my child is ____” and see how it feels. When I hear myself say “my child is exhausting” or “my child is rude” it doesn’t feel good. Because he’s not. That’s not who he is.
My child is amazing.
My child is beautiful.
My child is insightful.
My child is creative.
My child is energetic.
My child is sensitive.
My child is funny.
My child is imaginative.
My child is determined.
From now on I’m going to be extremely mindful of the words I use to describe my son. I want to portray a positive image of him for both his sake and mine.
In fact, I really ought to do this for my husband and myself too. I think everyone I love could benefit from kinder labels.