Two and Through?

My husband wants to get a vasectomy.  He’s actually wanted to get one since the day we found out I was pregnant with our second baby.  I was like, slow down buddy.

Needless to say, he’s done with having babies.

I think I am.

I’m pretty sure I am.

But when my husband told me that he wanted to make his appointment for the snip snip I felt a little funny.  A little something that confused me.

I felt sad.

When I think about having more babies I do think, rationally, that we’re done.  I’m so happy with our family.  I feel like we are complete.  I also don’t want to be pregnant again.  I’m going to be 36 this year and, not that women can’t have babies closer to 40, but oh man I am tired.  And my body is kind of falling apart.  I hurt somewhere every day – my hips, my shoulders, my neck – and I just don’t know if my body can handle another pregnancy.  I also don’t want to be pregnant with two other littles around.  That shit is exhausting.  And then there’s the whole birth thing – been there, done that.  Not to mention all the challenges that come with the baby stage.

And then there’s the emotional side of me that cries at the thought of no more babies.  My baby girl is 7 months and the time is just flying.  She is just the happiest, sweetest little thing and now that her sleep in getting in check (thank you sleep training) life is starting to feel a whole lot easier.

Honestly if we could be guaranteed another baby like her (plus an easy pregnancy and another zen birth like I had with my son) I would be more inclined to argue more! more! babies!

You just never know what you’re going to get.

Some people say the more babies you have the easier it is and I can see that.  I mean, we’ve been through it all before and the confidence is definitely there now.  But let’s be real, the more babies you have, the more complicated life gets too.

My husband and I like to keep things simple.  We like simple routines.  We’re kind of home bodies.  We don’t like a lot of stuff.  We like quiet time.  Alone time.  Time together would be nice too.

But one more wouldn’t complicate things too much, right?  My son is now in daycare and will start kindergarden soon.  My daughter will be in daycare at 16 months – if we were to do it again I would for sure keep her in because having my son home with me with the baby was no walk in the park.

Gah no!!  No more babies.  My head kind of spins at the thought of it.

But imagine all that added love in the house.

There would be so much love.  And kisses.  And hugs.  And smiles.  And little toes to tickle.

…and diapers. And crying.  And spit up.  And cracked nipples.  And sleepless nights. And worry.  And laundry. And tantrums. And food on the floor that mom has to clean up.

So yeah, I’m on the ‘no more babies’ team, but I think I need a bit of time to come to terms with it.



One thought on “Two and Through?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s