I Don’t Want to Sleep Train

I think I need to sleep train our 5 month old.  I really don’t want to – I mean who does?

With our son it was obvious that we needed to sleep train him.  He would only sleep on us and would not let us put him down.  And then he stopped being able to sleep with us.  So he basically just stopped sleeping.  I remember so clearly it was 1am the day before his 6 month birth date and he was awake, frantic after we had been in and out of his room countless times trying to get him back down.  I guess you can say we were doing the put down pick up method from 4 months on and it was not working.  We had an extremely overtired baby on our hands and we had to do something.  So we let him cry it out and it was fucking awful.  I hated every moment of it.  But it worked (eventually).

With our daughter I’d say there are three main problems when it comes to her sleep.

Problem #1: It takes me a long time to get her down for her naps.  
I nurse her to sleep and sometimes it can take up to 30 minutes.  She’ll get sleepy but wake up as soon as I take her off the boob.  This is a problem because I have to leave my 2 year old downstairs while I get her down.  He’s awesome for about 15 minutes reading books or colouring.  And I don’t want to put a show on every time.  I’m a big fan of nursing to sleep, I think it’s beautiful and sweet but at the end of the day it is an association that is just not working for us.  I need a quicker routine.  I need her to fall asleep on her own.

Problem #2: Her naps (in her crib) are super short.
She used to be an amazing napper, up to 3 hours at a time kind of thing.  And then it went to shit.  She’s now napping for about 30 minutes and waking up tired. Sometimes I’ll bring her into bed with me and get her back down and she will then sleep for another hour or two.  Bringing her into bed is not always an option. And once she starts crawling I don’t want to do this.

Problem #3: She’s waking up a lot in the night.
This is more a problem for me than for her.  She goes right back to sleep (most nights) and I don’t think she’s losing that much sleep.  I am though. And it’s starting to get to me – emotionally and mentally.  I mentioned in my last post that I’ve been feeling some of that old familiar anxiety and I know it’s because of lack of sleep.  Some nights I’ll bring her into bed with me (I did las night) and I can get a 3 or 4 hour stretch, but it’s not comfortable for me and I don’t see that as a sustainable solution.

So that’s where we’re at.

Now there are a few reasons why I don’t want to sleep train.  One, I don’t want her to cry.  This is our last baby and I feel like this is such a short time  in our lives I don’t want to go through that whole thing.  Like I said, I’ve been there before and I hated it.  Two, we’re in between the swaddle.  She’s outgrowing it but if I dont’ swaddle her she flips onto her belly and she wakes up because she hates being on her belly and she can’t flip back onto her back.  And three, I keep thinking things will just resolve themselves on their own.

Well it’s been 30 minutes and she’s awake.  And my son is still jumping and yelling in his crib before his nap.  I hate this whole baby sleep shit.

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