Today I was feeling very overwhelmed. Both kids were losing their shit at the same time and I could’t be two places at once. I’m pretty sure my baby girl is teething and she didn’t sleep well because her big brother was freaking out and he woke her up. My two year old has just been totally insane the last few days. He’ll be super happy one minute and next thing you know toys are flying across the room and he’s biting the kitchen chair out of frustration.
When my husband got home from work he tried to help but my toddler only wanted mom. He screamed when my husband tried to get him milk. Only I could get him milk. And the baby only wanted to be in my arms. I was nursing her and my son wanted me to colour with him. My husband said he would and the toddler screamed “MOM!” and then threw his crayons.
I put the baby girl down for a nap at 4 and took my son out for a walk and it was nice, but I couldn’t relax. I felt so tense and frustrated.
While I was putting the kids to bed I felt angry. It took the baby 40 minutes to fall asleep even though she was super tired (probably because she was super tired) and I could feel the anger rising. I noticed it and tried to just breathe, but my breath was sticking.
I still feel like I can’t get a deep breath.
I know I’m lucky because today was not how every day is. Usually my baby girl is so sweet and happy. My little guy is usually a lot of fun. He loves to play and laugh and he makes me laugh so much. Rarely are they both freaking out at the same time.
And I know that I should have taken more time to myself this morning while she slept. Instead I cleaned the bathroom, organized my sons toys, and I don’t remember what else, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t something that nurtured me.
Now that they’re sleeping, I’m going to do some relaxing yoga, have a cup of tea (who am I kidding, it’ll be another glass of wine) and then head to bed. Hopefully I’ll get a good night’s sleep so that I can handle whatever comes my way tomorrow.