Tired

I kept my two year old home again today.  Normally he goes to daycare in the mornings, but after what happened on Monday I just don’t really want him with her anymore.  So I kept him home.

We had a great morning, but holy shit I’m tired.  Toddlers are serious energy suckers.  And my three month old is teething – early I know, but my son started getting teeth at four months so I’m not surprised – so she’s bit a little fussy and wanting to comfort nurse a lot.  Which is also very tiring.  Her sleep has been weird too – last night she finally settled at 10 pm only to get up twice in the night and then start the day at 7.

So yeah, I’m a little tired today.

But happy.

I love spending time with my son.  I think he is just the coolest, funniest, and sweetest little person.  He’s also great with his little sister so I don’t feel like there’s any jealousy and if I need to tend to her he’s pretty good about it.

I’m also happy that they are both napping.  Well, my son is jumping and jib jabbering in his crib, but he’ll be asleep soon (I hope!).

So I think, I can do this.  I can have him home.  Maybe I don’t need to figure out another daycare option.

But the real question is, do I want to do this every day?  I get very little time to myself to recharge and I need that.  And today was a good day, but not every day is like this.  A lot of days are filled with crying and tantrums and just chaos and very little room to breathe.

I need days where I can just breathe.

I went to talk to my neighbour today to see if she would be willing to come by a few mornings a week to help out.  She can take just my son to the park, or stay here with the baby, or even just watch both of them while I go for a walk/get a massage/grab a coffee/feel normal.  And then maybe she’ll stay on full time when I go back to work.

If I go back to work…

No, I have to go back to work …. eventually.

A lot to ponder, but first, coffee.  Thank god for baby naps and coffee.

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3 thoughts on “Tired

  1. Oh I know what you mean. I myself am actually working now and my son is in day care (after a year at home with me being on maternity leave) but I feel you. Yesterday he stayed home with me because he was sick (not the first day of course). It was an amazing day, he was an angel, no tantrums no nothing. But still as you say not everyday is a good day and even then they do demand a huge amount of energy. I can only imagine how you manage with two kids at home 🙂 I hope that deal with your neighbour works great and you can get some nice “you” time 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a different kind of tired, being back at work don’t you think? I struggled many evenings to give my son the time he needed (and I wanted) and not fall asleep on the couch. And if tantrums were involved my husband and I would count the minutes till bedtime!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh yeah it is a different kind of tired. And counting the minutes? Yes we do that too … and I feel guilty for doing it so it makes me feel somewhat better that we are not the only ones 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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