Sometimes I think back to the first few months of my son’s life and think: what was I thinking? I was not myself and I did some crazy things. Some of these things are just funny, and some were stemmed from my severe anxiety – so not so funny. Here are some of those things:
- In that first week I would put on movies at night so that I wouldn’t fall asleep while he slept on me.
- I yelled at my husband because he fell asleep on the couch with the baby on him. I yelled while they were both sleeping – the baby woke up crying and I scared my husband so much he jumped, yeah, with the baby on him.
- I had a timer next to the chair I nursed my son in to make sure that he nursed for 20 minutes – and no less – on each boob.
- I used to let my son sleep on me for every nap for an entire year.
- When we finally got him sleeping in his crib I checked on him every 10 minutes. I finally stopped when I realized I was waking him up.
- I would wake up frantic looking for my baby thinking he was in bed with me when really he was sleeping soundly in his crib. This went on for months.
- When we were introducing food I would scream for my husband every time my son gagged even the slightest on his food.
- I made him broccoli pops. They’re like popsicles, only with broccoli and water. Nothing else.
- I cried because I took my son out in the rain.
- When he was 4 months old I flew with him and while landing I was more concerned with shoving the pacifier in his mouth so that his ears wouldn’t pop than supporting his head.
- I was so sleep deprived I poured orange juice into my coffee instead of cream. I dumped it out and made a new coffee only to do the exact same thing again.
I’m happy to report that I am much more sane the second time around. I honestly don’t think I’ve done anything ‘crazy’ – but she’s only 3 months so there’s plenty time still.