My baby girl cries a lot. I know, babies cry but I’m pretty sure she cries more than my son did. And I thought he cried a lot. I can’t put her down for even two minutes without her screaming and it’s starting to wear on me.
My ability to handle the crying has been compromised due a severe lack of sleep. Our house is so dry and even though I have a humidifier running all day and all night my poor baby girl gets so stuffed up that she can’t breathe and she wakes up. A lot. And so I wake up. A lot.
This morning was particularly tough. I couldn’t spend a second with my son (who was being amazing this morning) without her needing to be in my arms. The minute i put her down she screams. Not just cries, screams. Yesterday she screamed at me all morning.
I just dropped my son off at daycare and he was so sweet it made me so sad. I just wanted to spend the morning with him. Instead I get to be screamed at by a tiny person who needs so much from me right now.
I’m now laying in bed with my sweet baby girl sleep crying on me. What is sleep crying you ask – it’s super fun. It’s when a baby sleeps for 3 minutes then cries out then falls back asleep only to cry out another 5 minutes later. So I can’t even sleep.
I cried last night out of frustration and fatigue and I’ve already cried this morning.
Hopefully she can settle and I can get a nap in. I’m also going to try to get outside today. It’s finally a nice day and I think the fresh air would do me some good.
I just keep telling myself, it’ll get good soon and then it’ll get really good. I just need to get through these first months. I knew it was going to be hard and I’m grateful to not have the anxiety this time around, but knowing that doesn’t make the present any easier. I’m trying to be grateful and enjoy the baby cuddles and just soak up how small and precious she is right now. I’m trying to not let the anger and frustration and sadness overcome me. It’s just so hard.