I can’t wait to be done work. These last two weeks have been so incredibly stressful and I have just not wanted to go into work. I want to be home. With my son. Crafting or some shit.
I only have 4.5 days left of work until I’m on maternity leave for a year. So I guess, in a way I will be a stay at home mom.
Now this could be the pregnancy speaking, but I don’t know if I even want to go back. I have lots of time to decide what I’m going to do, but just for fun, here’s my honest take on staying home.
The Good Things About Staying Home
- No daycare. My 22 month old son just started daycare three weeks ago when my husband went back to work. It was going really well at first. I guess it still is. I don’t know. There are some things that are not sitting right – like that she seems to have the tv on more than we were led to believe (we were told no tv in the interview – I don’t care if he watches a little, I just want her to be honest with us). And the other day he came home with the worst diaper rash he’s ever had. She’s only looking after one other child. There is really no excuse for that. It blistered, guys. On the flip side, he’s really happy. He is excited to see her in the morning and he’s happy at pickup – even on days he doesn’t nap (which seems to be more often that not these days).
- I set the schedule. I’m a fan of routine and I like the idea of setting fun, creative, educational activities for us. I think this could fulfill my need to feel productive and feel like I’m “managing” something. Treat is as my job so to speak.
- Tap into my inner child more. I’d do some serious pinteresting to find some fun activities for us to do.
- No work stress. This includes having to associate myself with people who have giant egos and make me angry.
- No commute to work.
- Comfy clothes every day!
- A cleaner house (potentially – depending on the day). I’d work it into the schedule to do 30 minutes of house cleaning a day. At the end of a work day I just don’t have it in me. I also know that staying home with a toddler and a baby means bigger messes to clean up, so yeah, maybe not!
Bad Things About Staying Home
- As much as I say I want to do “fun, creative, educational” things with my kids, I’m just not the type. I am a spreadsheet and powerpoint kind of person. Crafting is not my thing.
- I don’t know if I have the patience for it. Seriously. Major props to people who spend all day looking after toddlers.
- I don’t have a lot of mommy friends. I’d obviously have to make some, but yeah, easier said than done.
- I don’t drive. I would need to get my license. (I really should do this anyways. What 35 year old woman doesn’t have her license?!)
- I spent a shit ton of money on my education and have worked hard building my career. And it’s one that I actually like 90% of the time. I know I’d miss working and I’m not sure giving up my current position is really a smart move.
- Money. Though my husband has a good job now, I make more than he does. Not sure I’m ready to walk away from a steady income when we don’t currently live in our ‘dream’ family home. Also, it means saying goodbye to vacations. The material stuff I can honestly do without, and we’d be OK, but I would like for us to be more than ok.
- I’m not sure that staying in comfy clothes all day is really such a good thing.
A Happy Medium
I don’t think it has to necessarily be work or don’t work. Stay home or don’t stay home. The most important things for me, as a mom and as a woman, are:
- That I feel healthy and sane most of the time. Taking time to myself – whether it’s going to work or doing something for me – is extremely important.
- That I feel like I’m accomplishing something every day and doing something of value. Raising children is obviously huge, but you don’t always feel that you’re doing something of value every day. It can feel incredibly mundane and can really suck the life out of you and it’s hard to appreciate the big picture of this some days.
- That I am true to myself. I don’t want to do something because I feel like I “should”. I’ve had moments this past week, with my sons daycare situation stressing me out, when I started to feel like I should have him home with me full time after the baby comes. I should be the one looking after him. But I’ve seem my sister in law burn out and not have time with her newborn and I can see that being me. I can see my anxiety getting the best of me. I can see myself losing my patience every day – and that’s not good for me or my son. I know I need him in care for those first few months after the baby comes (at least). I just can’t do it all.
I think working part time would be ideal for me. I honestly think my boss would be open to the idea. Might be something to consider. I’m going to be off full time for the year, so I have lots of time to decide. I do know, that at the end of my maternity leave I was looking forward to going back to work. So we’ll see if I feel the same way this time around.
Man, having kids complicates things so much!!! lol