When I was approaching my due date with my first I felt a lot of things. Anticipation, excitement, nervousness, and uncertainty. I didn’t know how it was going to go, what it would feel like, or how long it would take.
I did know that whatever happened, I could handle it. If anything, I was looking forward to seeing just how much I could handle. I had no fear going in and I was ready to face whatever lay ahead.
This time around I have more knowledge. I know what the start of labour feels like (lots of backache and period like cramps). I know what a strong contraction feels like (gradual building of cramps which peak and then subside). I know what transition feels like (the urge to throw up followed by a bit of anxiety). I know what it feels like to have the urge to push (an overwhelming desire to push! ha). And I know how it feels to push a baby out (lots of pressure, some burning, and a whole lot of effort!). But most of all – I know I can handle it.
Knowing what I know, I’m ready to do it all again.
When I visualize the birth this time around I can’t decide if I’m at home or at the birth centre. I would like to labour at home for as long as I can (as I did with my first), and then go to the birth centre to use their tub and hanging cloth apparatus (which helped SO MUCH with the pushing). But then I’d like to be instantly and magically transported to my own bed.
Basically I would love for everything to go exactly as it did with my first labour, minus the after birth. Not that it was bad, I just couldn’t relax. My husband couldn’t relax! I remember he went and started the car to get it warmed up at least an hour before we were ready to leave. He started it so early in fact that he had to go get gas before we could leave. I knew he was anxious to go and that in turn made me anxious. Meanwhile my blood pressure had dropped and I was in no condition to go home quite yet.
We did end up leaving 4.5 hours after the baby was born, which really is not so bad. But I would love to just be home, in my bed cuddling with our new baby girl right away.
I can’t believe we get to meet her in less than 8 weeks. I really can’t wait 🙂