When I tell people that my husband stays home with my son I mostly get positive reactions. I’ve had a few remarks about how we are a ‘modern’ family. And then there was that one guy who asked if he changed his diapers. (Right!?)
We always kind of imagined him staying home. I’m way more career focused, I actually like my job, and I was making about twice as much as he was – so if either of us were to stay home it would be him.
It’s pretty awesome having my husband home with my son. First off, no daycare drop off or pickup which means our lives are a lot less complicated than they could be! I get updates and pictures sent to me throughout the day. Dinner is made when I get home and he even makes my lunches (I know, totally spoiled)!
Best part: my son gets to be with his dad! They have developed a beautiful bond and it just melts my heart to see the two of them together.
So it’s amazing, obviously. BUT – and I know that this is my thing and I just need to deal with it – but he sometimes does things that I don’t agree with. Like…
- He lets him watch t.v. Now I know, a little bit of screen time for a 15 month old isn’t going to hurt him – I just don’t like it. I feel like there are so many other things they could be doing (like going outside, reading books, playing with the dog, ANYTHING ELSE) than staring blankly at a screen. But I also know that spending all day with a toddler is exhausting and my husband needs a break too. (But then yesterday I worked from home and I came downstairs to find my son sitting on the living room floor watching tv with my husband nowhere in sight – AND THE GATE TO THE STAIRS WASN’T SHUT!! And it was a beautiful day. So I took a break from work and took him to the park.)
- He feeds him crap. This bothers me a lot. I’m a very healthy eater and I am all about making sure my son gets a variety of nutrient rich foods. My husband would feed him pizza for lunch every day if he could. He loves to feed him. Especially bread and butter. He’s respected my wishes to not give him sweets and salt, but oh man sometimes. Just steam some broccoli! My son loves it too, so it’s not like it’s a fight to get him to eat his vegetables. Instead he’ll just give him those goldfish snacks.
There are some other small things that bother me (his face is always dirty and sometimes he’ll keep him in his pjs all day), but those are the two big ones.
I also know that I should just talk to him about these things again. We talked when I first went back to work and he was actually sending me updates on what he ate. I still ask everyday but am careful to make suggestions.
I did say something yesterday about the tv and he got quite defensive and said it’s ok for him to watch every now and then. Every now and then, sure, but I don’t know how much he’s watching.
I know I need to just trust that my husband is doing his best. Trust that he wants the best for our son and that he does care.
I could also do a better good job at letting him know how great he’s doing. Because he is. I know it’s not easy to be home all day with very few breaks. I know how mundane it can sometimes feel. And I know how difficult our son can be some days. And he is so good with him.
Because at the end of the day, the important thing is that my son is happy and healthy. And he is. He’s the happiest little guy I know.