When my mom was up visiting she was commenting on how gorgeous my son is. And he is. I’m not just saying that because I’m his mom. He’s really a very beautiful baby.
And then she said he didn’t get his looks from me.
I stopped and said, excuse me?
Oh you were an ugly baby. She said.
Jesus mom, really?
And when she could see that she had hurt my feelings she started stuttering and back peddling hard. Saying that I was an ugly duckling who grew into a beautiful swan.
Now I’ve obviously I’ve seen baby pictures of myself, and sure I was chunky but I wouldn’t say ugly. I would actually be hard pressed to call any baby ugly.
And there was my own mother not only saying it, but saying it to my face.
From that day I’ve had thoughts pop up, like – no wonder I always felt ugly. I always thought it was my sister who had made me feel that way (she bullied me really badly growing up), but turns out it was my mom too.
I know she didn’t actually mean to hurt me. My mom speaks before she thinks all the time and it’s one of the many things that drive me crazy about her. She’s actually said a lot of thoughtless things since I’ve become a mom which have not exactly been supportive. Ugh, not going to to there.
Point is: if you do happen to have an ugly baby, one don’t worry, they will grow into their looks (I did) and two, don’t ever tell them. Ever.
Not that you would because who does that!?? Sigh.