What If I Can’t Get Pregnant

A little thought has been popping into my head lately: what if I can’t get pregnant.

Just because it happened quickly with the first, doesn’t mean we’ll be so lucky with the second.

I haven’t really allowed myself to dwell on this thought too much because it’s not exactly something I can control.  If it happens, it happens.  If it doesn’t, well, it doesn’t.

And by doesn’t I mean, we don’t have a second.

When we were trying for our first my husband and I decided that if we couldn’t for whatever reason, conceive a baby, we would not go the IVF route.

The same goes for the second time around.

I would be very sad though if we couldn’t have a second.  I’ve already started to get excited about the idea of growing our family.  I’m excited to be pregnant again (well, for the most part!).  And a scared as I am that my anxiety will come back with a vengeance, I’m excited to experience that overwhelming bursting at the seams love that comes with caring for your newborn.

But I know that if it wasn’t meant to be, I would eventually come to terms with it.  Our little family is pretty amazing right now and that won’t change.

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