My husband has been wanting to help out more in the sleep department. For this I am both grateful and annoyed.
Grateful because I need the sleep and I want to feel like we are a team in this whole parentingthing. My daughter will be one next week (WHAT?!) and has slept through the night maaaaybe 10 times in her life and it has always been me to go to her. I have only ever been the one to put her down for both naps and bed time.
My husband helped out a lot more in this area with our son. He often did his night time routine (and still does today which is why I do our daughters, they go to bed at the same time) and he stayed home with him for about a year when he was a year old, so he put him down for naps a lot.
When it comes to our daughter I’m quite protective. I know that I can sometimes have the attitude that no one can tend to her as well as I can. Which may or may not be true, that’s really besides the point. It’s more about the relationship my husband has with her. He never bonded and only now it’s just forming. He didn’t spend much time with her and it shows because she’s not that comfortable with him.
I hate it.
And because of that I”m extra protective. I feel like I need to give her extra love and attention.
So even though I’m grateful that my husband wants to help out, I feel like it’s kind of too late.
This morning she wakes up at 5 and I go in to nurse her down but she won’t go back to sleep. So I go get my husband from downstairs (he’s already up) and ask him to try (as we agreed that he would). He goes in and she completely loses her mind. Instead of rocking her he just puts her back in her crib. I go to him and ask if he wants me to try again and he gets snippy with me and tells me he’s letting her blow off steam and that I should go back to sleep.
I can’t sleep when my baby is in hysterics.
I hear her screaming louder and louder, at this point I’m sure she’s going to wake up our son so I go in and tell him, it’s OK, I’ll calm her down. He walks past me in a huff and I pick up our daughter and try to calm her. I do, but she is all wigged out and so the day begins.
I hand her over to my husband, who is obviously annoyed, and I go back to bed. I kind of doze in and out and get up at 9 to the sound of her screaming in her crib. He tried to put her down for a nap. I ask him if I should go in and he says, ‘I need to be able to put her down for naps’.
And I agree, but isn’t it a little late?
And he didn’t get her down. She was screaming.
I sat in the living room with my son watching tv (which in my annoyed head I think ‘he’s probably been watching tv all morning’) drinking my coffee trying to ignore our screaming baby. I finally said, forget this, and I went in and got her to sleep.
She’s sleeping now. My son is watching shows and my husband is grumpy. I am filled with so much negativity and I am trying to see the positive here.
I know I need to back off a little and give him more chances.
I know I need to trust that she’ll be ok with anyone other than me.
I know I need to give him a break because he is trying.
We have a fun day planned and I don’t want it ruined by this gloomy start. Hopefully writing this all out, getting it out of my head will help me keep a positive attitude. That and a shower. Showers always help, even if it’s just a little.